Liana Biasucci's Story

2 days earlier…

“Dodge the aliens Matt, don’t just fly through them.”

“Professor Flypaper, you may not have noticed this but…THOSE ALIENS ARE FILLED WITH AIR!!” I said. I was in space training year 12, with a PIG, for Petes sake. Our teacher, Professor Flypaper, was an ex-P.E. teacher.

“I know they’re not real Matt, but if you were in outer space and you just fly through them-”

“They’d zap you with a laser gun,” finished Hamlet, the pig. We’d heard the speech so many times we’d memorized it.

“Now before we break for lunch blah blah blah blah…” It was another one of his long boring lectures and I wasn’t really listening. I wasn’t really listening, I was thinking about his practically bald head. Then suddenly something he said caught my attention. “So you and Hamlet will fly to planet MEATBALL MEATBALL MEATBALL and get the key to Spaghetti City.”

“Hold it,” I said. “Let me get this straight get this straight, I have to fly to Planet Meatball, with bacon bits over here, and get a lasagna key from the meatoids?”

“Yes and this is Hamlet, not bacon bits.”

So the next day we went off to Planet Meatball. And that’s where you joined us. But of course…

“Before you go remember, you need food and warm blankets, sun glasses and sun screen and of course your Space Language Translator, because you never know what language space people will speak.” Said Professor Flypaper. He sounded like an overprotective mother.

Hamlet must have read my thoughts because he said…

“Professor Flypaper, you sound like an overprotective mother.”

It turned out we landed on Planet Pink, where everything is pink except the Orange Part. There were pink space cars and pink food and pink hair (don’t ask) and pink PRANGES even. We landed near the Orange Part. Suddenly a ninja dressed in orange, cart wheeled over to us. She had long light blond hair and blue eyes. She looked about the same age as me.

“Hi, I’m Mayonnaise Alfredo Sauce, but you can call me Maya. I moved here from Planet Meatball 5 years ago,” She said.

“Ummm…I’m Matt and this is baco0Hamlet”

“Hi,” snorted Hamlet.

“Need help with something?” She asked, referring to our spaceship.

“Yeah, it’s a long story.” So I told her about the mission.

“Well, I can help you if Hamlet can fly a spaceship”

“I flew us all the way here.”

“And look where that got us.” I said.

Ignoring me Maya said “Well, I will lend you my spaceship and you can go to planet Meatball and get the key while I help Matt with your ship. Sound good?”

“Sounds good.”

So off Hamlet went.

“Now stay here and I’ll go get my ninja teacher, Professor Bubblegum. She can fix anything” Maya said. So I stood there and waited and waited. And waited some more. After about 20 minutes or so, Maya came back with a rainbow flamingo.

“Hello,” said the flamingo. She talked in a sort of stuffy English accent. “I’m Professor Bubblegum.”

“Umm, I’m Matt”

“So I’ve heard,” said the Professor. “Now, let’s get to work.” She fiddled with a doohickey and meddled with a thingamajig. “There, that should work. Fly it around the Orange Part to make sure it works.” It worked just fine.

“Now, before you go, take it easy on the way back and don’t stop to get space doughnuts on the way back.”

“OK. Thanks so much.” I said.

“Come back and visit,” said Maya. I flew off to pick up Hamlet on Planet Meatball.

When I got there he had just won a Food Toss against the Meatoids and they were presenting the key to Spaghetti City.

“Come on Bacon Bits,” I yelled. So we flew back to Earth and told everyone about our Space Adventure.

 

Liana Biasucci is from West Vancouver, BC